Aggravation

AGGRAVATION
1 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Scotch (Monkey Shoulder)
Milk

Fill glass with milk, add ingredients and two ice cubes, stir slowly, and serve.

Brian
That’s weird, but it’s not bad. It’s the scotch.
The scotch is weird.

Eric
Why is this called the Aggravation?

Brian
I don’t know. I am in no way aggravated by this.

Eric
Maybe you need to be aggravated to want
one of these.

Brian
Does it tone down aggravation?

Eric
The scotch is weird. I don’t hate it but its like the
scotch is dancing around all the sweetness and the dairy.
Here I am! I’m here! Because to me it tastes
like an afterthought.

Brian
On second tasting I don’t get as much scotch.

Jason
It’s like chocolate milk.

Eric
These are the tasting notes that we’re after!

Jason
I need a straw for this. I need a juice box.

Brian and Eric
What do you think about the scotch?

Jason
You know what would be interesting? If you had
Laphroaig in there or something that
was more aggressive.

Eric
I had a Laphroaig milkshake in Seattle.

Jason
There’s not a lot going on with that scotch
[Monkey Shoulder]. I want more scotch taste.

Eric
You want more scotch taste out of
your dairy and Kahlua, I totally get it.

We somehow get into discussing the Carl’s Jr. model exploitation advertising after watching the Charlotte McKinney ad and then promptly get back to the tasting.

Eric
This is in the same category as the A-1
Pick-Me-Up for weirdness.

Brian
I don’t know about that.

SCORES: Eric 3, Brian 5, Jason 7.5

Wait, did Jason say Laphroaig? Yes, yes he did. Why don’t we tweak the ingredients of the AGGRAVATION? Well we did and we decided to call it the IRRITATION.

IRRITATION
1 oz. Homemade Kahlua
1 oz. Laphroaig
Milk

 Fill glass with milk, add ingredients and two ice cubes, stir slowly, and serve.

Jason
This Laphroaig dominates.

We are watching Blade Runner at this point. (Still one of the best sci-fi movies ever. The cinematography holds to this day and still people are trying to make movies with that look but to no avail.)

Jason
I like it. I think that’s better.

Eric
Would you drink that again?

Jason
I don’t know. I’m not a big milk drink guy.
I don’t search out milk-based cocktails.
I like that more than—

Brian
How is it with the different Kahlua?

Jason
I think it’s interesting that Kahlua [the original]
isn’t as coffee forward. I do think the Laphroaig
is better than Monkey Shoulder.

Brian
I do like that it is more vanilla. I think it helps
with that smoky.

Jason
It tamps it down. They are both competing
for your attention.

Brian
I went through a big white Russian phase at one point.
I like this drink. I would definitely make this again,
but I’d probably use less milk.

Jason
Yeah.

Brian
So what’s the ratio? The Aggravation is 1, 1, and milk.

Eric laughs.

Brian
The Irritation should be 1, 1, 2½ or 3.

SCORES: Eric 6, Brian 6.5: “Less milk would get a higher rating”, Jason 8



Eric D. Anderson

About

Eric D. Anderson came to appreciate cocktails late in life and is trying to make up for lost time. He finds that crafting drinks involves the same precision, creativity, sociability, and ritual as baking—another passion—and believes that it brings people together in the same way. Eric is the director of Way of the Puck, a feature-length documentary about professional air hockey, and the editor of Stories of Quitting (storiesofquitting.com), an online collection of true stories that celebrate giving up. His writing has appeared in AGNI, Painted Bride Quarterly, Perigee, Giant Robot, and Wild Quarterly, among other publications. In his free time he works as a camera operator on commercials and motion pictures.


Always drink responsibly!