Joey Gannon, Wikipedia Commons

Year 1 Annual Report

Hard to believe, but the Rituals is one year old today. Happy Birthday, Rituals! Where is the smash cake? Yes, our fiscal year begins and ends on April Fools Day—appropriately enough—and so should yours.

We had hoped to create a stylish, inventive annual report along the lines of Nick Feltron’s Report, the Warby Parker Year in Review, or the MailChip Annual Report. But, alas, if anything can compete with our burning, sun-like ambition, it’s our utter lack of follow-through. In fact, that’s one of the main themes of our first year: broken promises.

Let’s see. Rule #2 broken. Rule #7 broken. Rule #13 definitely broken. Probably all of our rules were broken in one form or another. Basically, we didn’t finish, we did everything out of sequence, and we were lame, so lame. There was mold and there was incompetence and there was failure. Our shareholders were outraged. But here is where we cop to it.

The Numbers:

43 drinks reviewed and posted (not the never-drunk Acadian Mead moldpocalypse, but including both versions of the Ale Flip).

Eric’s average rating: 4.0465
Brian’s average rating: 4.3511
Combined average: 4.1943 (you draw your own conclusions)

3 highest-rated drinks (averaged):
1. ALASKA 9
2. A-1 PICK ME UP 8.5
3. AFTER DINNER 8.25

3 lowest-rated drinks (averaged):
1. ALE FLIP (1st version) 0
2. ABSINTHE SUISSESE .5
3. ABSINTHE AND EGG 1

Other highlights include our trips to Greenbar Craft Distillery in DTLA, Mosswood Distillers in Berkeley, and the San Francisco Craft Spirits Carnival. And our conversation with Standard Hotel bar manager Melanie Schmidt! And Brian’s barrel-aged wedding favors, of course!

We also completed city guides for New Orleans and Salt Lake City and enjoyed ourselves in the process.

Actually, now that I’m finishing up with this post I see that Brian has independently created an infographicky annual report for our first year in business. So there you go. If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. Man, things are looking better already. Maybe year 2 will be a great year after all. Not to push it or anything, but maybe even the drinks will be sublime!

I, for one, am optimistic.

(Birthday cake image by Joey Gannon, Wikipedia Commons)




Eric D. Anderson

About

Eric D. Anderson came to appreciate cocktails late in life and is trying to make up for lost time. He finds that crafting drinks involves the same precision, creativity, sociability, and ritual as baking—another passion—and believes that it brings people together in the same way. Eric is the director of Way of the Puck, a feature-length documentary about professional air hockey, and the editor of Stories of Quitting (storiesofquitting.com), an online collection of true stories that celebrate giving up. His writing has appeared in AGNI, Painted Bride Quarterly, Perigee, Giant Robot, and Wild Quarterly, among other publications. In his free time he works as a camera operator on commercials and motion pictures.


Always drink responsibly!